I know what you’re thinking. Hell, everyone’s thinking it these days. You’re thinking ‘He’s screwing her. He turned his back on his best friend for a piece of ass.’ Well, let me inform you and the rest of the fucking world. You’re dead wrong. There’s no way I’d touch that thing with a rented dick. I love Matt Hardy. Oh, I guess I should introduce myself. I’m Adam Copeland. The man that’s going to spend the rest of his life with my ‘best friend’ Matt.

Best friend, I guess that’s what people called us in the old days. You know, before McMahon had to stick his nose into our fucking business, before, when we could actually be around each other. Now, people consider us mortal enemies, torn apart forever by a woman who’s had almost everyone in the backstage area, except Matt and myself. Let me take you back.

It was a little over a year ago. Matt was just about to come back from the knee reconstruction that had kept him out of action for months, and we were celebrating our seven year anniversary. We were sick of the sneaking around, and hiding our relationship from the world. Matt’s family, my family, and our friends already knew about us, and they were all cool with it, so we didn’t care what the rest of the world thought. We were going to come out, completely.

Being WWE superstars, naturally we talked things over with Vince first. Hey, our families didn’t mind, why should he? Were we ever wrong. We sat in his office, and listened to a thirty minute lecture about how this could ruin our careers, and the business he’d spent his life building. We managed to ask him why it would do all that when he had Billy and Chuck almost get married on national TV, and we were stuck in there for another ten minutes listening to him tell us that was different, that was a story line. We asked if we could have the same story line, and were threatened with our jobs. That’s when Matt quit.

Cooler heads prevailed that afternoon and Matt called Vince and asked for his job back. Vince basically told him to go fuck himself. That’s when we came up with the plan. We’d make Matt Hardy the biggest name in pro wrestling. How? You ask? Enter the Matt Hardy Show. We came up with that idea together. I bet you did know that did you? And what better way to get it off the ground than to have Matt bashing his so called best friend for sleeping with his girl. (Bet you didn’t know Amy was brought into the federation as a cover for us either did you?)

Our plan worked like a charm. Before we knew it, Vince was begging Matt to come back. Unfortunately it worked a little too well. You see, it was Vince’s idea to bring Matt back in a story line against me. I guess after announcing that Amy had cheated on Matt with me, you can’t really blame him. I really didn’t have a problem working with Matt in the ring. Unless you count the throbbing erection he gave me most nights beating the hell out of me a problem. What can I say, I love Matt when he’s all angry and aggressive.

The only thing I did have a problem with, though, was kissing her. For the last seven years, my lips have touch no one else’s but Matt’s. Now, I was thrust into this story line where I had to kiss Amy, and do various other things that made my stomach turn. It’s not that I don’t like women. I think women are beautiful creatures, it’s just that I’m not sexually attracted to them. Especially that one.

Then our plan went totally a rye somewhere. Vince got this crazy idea that Matt should go to Smackdown. Now we live for super shows. Raw and Smackdown on the same card, means Matt and Adam together in the back. And trust me, we take advantage of every minute of it. Yeah we still see each other on days off and what not, but it’s not the same. We used to be together all the time. Now, it seems like the only time we get together is at home. That sounds normal right? Well, remember we’re talking about Matt Hardy here. Let’s just say he’s an adventurous soul, in and out of the bedroom.