Three and a half hours of WrestleMania was wearing on Brian’s nerves. He’d experienced what all these young punks were going through that night. The nerves, the excitement, and the terror, he knew them all too well, and he was experiencing them again. He always did when he knew he was going to see him. The butterflies fluttered in his stomach like hawks, his foot was tapping so hard he was rattling the floor. No one was any the wiser. Hey, when you run with DX, you learn to hide the nerves from the rest of the world. That’s one trick that he taught all the members. You had to be calm, cool and collected on the outside, no matter what you were going through on the inside. Brian was never so happy to have Kip come over and sit on the floor between his legs. “Don’t sweat it Dogg. He’ll be out in a minute.” Kip said looking up at his best friend, placing his arms on Brian’s legs to steady them.

Kip could read every emotion that was running through Brian, just by the way Brian looked down at him. That’s what happens when you’ve been best friends with someone as long as they’d been. That was also another lesson that he’d taught them. Learn to read your partner. That was the one thing that The New Aged Outlaws excelled at. They could tell if the other one was hurt before they did. That’s how Kip knew that Brian was hurting right now. He felt every muscle in Brian’s body tense up as his music started playing.

“He talkin’ about you Dogg?” Ron Killings said, throwing a piece of popcorn playfully in Brian’s direction, rolling his eyes and giving up when he didn’t get a response. He knew where Brian’s head was and it wasn’t in that room. It was in Chicago.

“Where the hell is he?” Brian said low enough that Kip was the only one to hear him. All he was seeing was an empty stage.

“He’ll be out there in a minute.” Kip said, trying to pry Brian’s fingers out of his shoulders. “You know he always like’s to make a big entrance.”

Kip’s words had no effect on Brian. The more Kip pried at his fingers the more they dug in. There was so much smoke that he couldn’t see a thing, until the camera got a close up of the face he’d waited all night to see. He came rising from under the stage, sitting on a massive throne, and he was dressed like Conan the Barbarian. Brian smiled. He always told Paul that he acted like it so he might as well go to the ring dressed like Conan. Tonight he finally took his advice. “He’s not gettin’ the belt back.” Brian and Kip said in unison.

“How do you know that?” Andy Douglas said, looking up at his lover, Kip. “What’d he call ya or somethin’?”

Kip looked down at his lover, laying on the floor with his head on his leg and ran his finger’s through his hair. “Just the look in his eyes, baby.”

Brian was oblivious to anything else happening around him. His house could’ve been on fire and he wouldn’t have taken his eyes off that screen. It was that way through the entire match. In fact, it was that way until the show went off the air. Brian excused himself to the bathroom while Kip said good bye to everyone. When a very flushed Brian James emerged from the bathroom, the only people left in his house were Kip and Andy. “Where’d everyone go?” Brian said looking around.

“They left.” Andy said as he checked out the bruises on Kip’s shoulders. “I know you guys are friends and all, but do you think next time we have a pay per view that you can stop yourself from puttin’ bruises on my man?” Andy added jokingly.

Brian walked over and took a look at them himself. “Sorry Ass man.” He said, ruffling Kip’s hair.

“It’s cool, Dogg.” Kip said, putting his shirt back on to slight protests from Andy. “I know why you did it. Besides it beats your dick poking me in the back of the head.” Kip added, dodging a half empty bottle of Coke.

“Trips still turn ya on?” Andy said, hoping his comment wasn’t too personal.

Brian sat down in his chair and looked up at Andy, turning serious all of a sudden. “Kid, you’ll never know.”

Andy walked over to Brian and settled on his lap. “Why don’t you just call him up then?” Andy said, wrapping one arm around Brian's neck.

Brian looked at the young man and then to Kip. “Tell me again why you had to fall in love with an infant?” Brian said, knowing it wouldn’t hurt Andy’s feelings. Since the day those two had gotten together he’d teased them about their 16 year age difference. “It’s complicated, Puddin’.” Brian added as Kip claimed his boyfriend from his lap.

“What’s so complicated?” Andy said, as Kip sat down on the couch, pulling him into his lap. “You two used to date. He still turns you on. Call him. You see no complication at all.”

Kip had to laugh at the simple logic of someone that had not experienced all the troubles of himself and Brian. Andy was a very smart man, but when it came to things that could make a person’s heart harden into stone, Andy was lost. At the age of 26 Andy had found the man he would spend the rest of his life with. Brian, however, was not that lucky. He’d been hardened by time and heartache. “Baby, it’s not that simple.” Kip said, brushing a stray piece of hair from Andy’s face. “I know it sounds simple, but it’s not. You don’t know the heartache that Brian went through with Paul, because I’ll never let you learn that kind of heartache.”

Brian interrupted Kip then. “If you’re gonna tell him the story, tell it right. Andy, you don’t know the heartache that I caused Paul, or the hell I put him through.”

Kip started to take over after that, and Andy placed a finger over his lips and looked at Brian. “You tell the story.” Andy said, snuggling down on Kip's lap. “I think you’d feel better if you did.”

Brian took a deep breath and let all the memories that he’d kept hidden for so many years come rushing back in a flood of emotion. “I know it’s an overused statement, but Paul had me from Hello. I showed up for work one day and this cocky, blonde was walking out of the McMahon’s office with Vince. Vince stopped Jarrett and me and introduced us. He told Paul that he could learn a lot from Jarrett and really only told him my name. For me it was love at first sight. He stared at me the whole time Vince and Jeff were talkin’ to him. I knew it was to much to hope for, but from that moment on he consumed my every thought.” Brian stopped at that point letting more memories flood back.

Andy noticed Brian’s demeanor changing, and contrary to what his boyfriend liked to think, he knew that this was difficult for Brian. He got him a drink, and settled back on Kip’s lap. “Take your time.” He said, waiting patiently for Brian to continue.

Brian took a few drinks and one very deep breath and continued. “We went on a few dates from about 94 to 98. Nothing really serious, at least not for him, but to me it meant the world.” Brian froze at that point. Sometimes remembering the good days was worse than remembering the bad ones. “The night after Wrestlemania 14, though, changed all that. That night, after Raw, Paul walked up to me in D-X’s locker room, pinned me against the wall that I was standing next to, and said the words I’d waited four long years to hear. I still remember what he said word for word. ‘I can’t take it anymore Brian. I want this to be a serious thing between me and you. I want the right to get mad if someone else touches you or hurts you. I want to be the one dry your tears when you watch one of those sad movies you like. I want to be the one to take care of you when you’re sick or scared. I want you to be my world from this day on.’” Brian had to stop right there. Mostly because of the emotions he was feeling, but also because Andy was smacking Kip.

“Why the hell didn’t you say something like that when we got together?” Andy said, still smacking Kip lightly on the chest and arms. “That is so romantic.”

“What?” Kip said, grabbing Andy’s wrists. “That night wasn’t romantic enough for ya?”

“I don’t think luring me back to hotel under the pretences of showing me some wrestling moves and then fucking me for three hours was very romantic, Kip.” Andy said, starting to do that cute little pout that Kip found irresistible.

Kip cupped Andy’s face in his hands. “But I meant what I said the next morning. I didn’t feel complete until the minute I woke up with you by my side.” Kip said, kissing Andy softly on the lips. Andy laid his head on Kip’s shoulder and looked at Brian as if telling him to go on.

Brian smiled at the two of them. “That’s how Paul and I acted for about a year and a half. You never saw one of us without the other. We were so sweet to each other, Michaels had to tell us to chill out. We were making him miss Kevin too much. We were perfect together. D-X became a household name. Raw, press conferences, photo shoots, invading WCW, pay per views, autograph signings, you name it, I had the man I loved right by my side. We had it all, until about mid-year of 99. That’s when it all turned to shit.”

Brian wiped at a tear that was threatening to fall down his cheek, sucked up his courage and continued on. “I’d been on pain pills for a while by that point. Just due to the grueling pace of my life and not letting myself heal after little injuries. I started taking two at a time instead of one, because hey, it worked better. But soon two wasn’t enough and I started taking three, then four at time. Paul asked me one day, if I needed to take them anymore. I honestly didn’t realize I had a problem then, so I said no and handed them to him. That night, I tore up the hotel room looking for ‘em. That would have told most people they had a problem right there, but not me. I still didn’t realize I had a problem when I was calling the doctors and getting more pills and hiding them from Paul.”

“What made you realize you had a problem?” Andy asked after Brian paused again.

“Paul had threatened to leave me so many times, but never actually followed through with it. That was, until new years eve of 2000.” Brian sat in silence for a moment, gathering the courage he needed to tell the rest. Kip knew what came next and knew that Brian’s close friends were the only ones who knew the details so he didn’t push. Surprisingly, Andy didn’t push either. He sat on Kip’s lap and let Brian take his time. “It was just after midnight, from what I’ve been told, and Paul found me to get his New Year’s kiss. I guess when he found me I was so stoned from the pills and the alcohol that he actually had to wipe my chin off. I really don’t remember anything until the next afternoon when I woke up and him and all his stuff was gone. I found a note telling me that when I got myself straitened out to give him a call. It was even signed love Paul.”

Andy raised his head off Kip’s chest. “So did you call him?” He asked.

“No.” Brian said, his words dripping with regret. “I was too ashamed of myself. I knew what I’d put him through. I figured he’d paid enough.”

“But he told you to call him.” Andy said, not quite understanding why Brian wouldn’t call the love of his life after everything he’d been through. “He obviously loves you. Why else do you think his new entrance music would have the lyrics ‘On your knees dogg’?”

Brian sat upright in his chair, a quizzical look on his face. “What?” He asked, letting a little too much hope shine through his voice.

Andy grabbed the VCR remote re wound the tape, letting Brian and Kip listen to the words of Hunter’s entrance. “See?” He said, pausing the tape right after the line.

“I’m sure it didn’t mean anything.” Brian said, standing up and turning the tape and the TV off. “I’m goin’ to bed.” Brian walked upstairs and locked himself in his bedroom. His heart actually hurt, just thinking of Paul, and the meaning behind those lyrics. He knew he was in for a very restless night.

“What’d I say?” Andy said, getting up off of Kip’s lap, so they could leave. “I didn’t mean to make him mad. I thought he’d be happy.”

Kip set Brian's security alarm, locked the door and escorted Andy out of the house. “You didn’t make him mad.” He said, opening the passenger side door of his truck for Andy. “You just made him think of Paul, and the fact that his stubborn ass should call him. He never will, though. He just can’t get past the shame.” The two men drove home in utter silence.

Later that night, after making love, while Kip was sleeping, Andy crept out of bed, grabbing Kip’s cell phone on his way downstairs. He scrolled through the numbers about three times before he finally decided that he had to call. He hit the number and listened to the ringing, almost chickening out with every ring. “What the hell do you want Ass man? It’s four in the fucking morning?”

“Mr. Levesque?” Andy said, sounding scared and meek.

Hunter sat up in bed. The first thought running through his mind was something had happened to Kip. “Who the hell is this?” He said, sounding very awake and fierce. “How’d you get Kip’s phone?”

Andy thought about just hanging up, but then he remembered the look in Brian’s eyes when he would talk about the good days with Paul. That look gave Andy courage beyond his years. “Mr. Levesque, I’m Andy Douglas. I’m Kip Sopp’s fiancé. I’m calling about Brian.”