This isn’t your standard, everyday, “My Heart Will Go On” kind of love story. When two monsters get together, and fall in love with each other it’s not the most romantic of occasions. It is, however, a passionate one. That’s the only way you can describe a man like Scott Steiner... passionate. He’s my polar opposite. He’s the kind of man that sees something he wants and goes after it with his whole heart and soul. I’m the kind of man that sees something I want and pines after it from a distance. I’ve always been afraid of getting hurt, and I’ve never handled rejection very well. Scott, on the other hand, isn’t afraid of anything. He meets life with a resolve that’s usually reserved for a villain in some movie. He doesn’t hesitate and he doesn’t slow down. He sets his sites, and nothing can stop him. So you can image how surprised I was the night I found out he’d set those sites on me.

I guess I should describe myself a bit, if this story is to have any many. They say, in the world of professional wrestling, if your character is gonna be any good it needs to be an extension of your personality. That’s how I came up with Abyss. Ever since I can remember I’ve always been a little chubby, the tallest kid in my class, you know a freak. That’s part of the reason I became a wrestler. I caught a few shows when I was a teenager and fell in love with the concept of the freaks and the beautiful people being able to get along. It was almost like a magical land. When I started out, though, I was nervous being in front of that many people. That’s when a local promoter had the idea of putting me in a mask. I was able to become the monster I’d always seen myself as. I guess you could say that I have a low self esteem, and you’d be dead on right. I don’t think that I’m a very attractive man. But apparently Scott did.

He approached me one night after a show a couple of months ago, and asked me if I’d like to go get a drink. I said sure, not having a clue that he had further plans for the night. I just assumed that he wanted a drink and there was no one else that would go with him. Well you know they say about assuming. After a few drinks at a local bar, that was more of a whole in the wall than a bar, he asked if I’d go back to his hotel with him. I guess deep down, I was hoping that he wanted more than someone to talk to that night, but I’d never had admitted it to myself at the time. When we got back to the hotel, he sprawled himself out in the only chair in the room. I sat down on his bed and we talked for a while. I found myself relaxing more and more around him. That was until he crossed the room and kissed me. He literally took my breath away. Not to mention brought back every insecurity I’ve every felt and woke up every nerve in my body at the same time.

The rest of that night is sort of a blur. The only thing that I’m absolutely sure of is waking up in his arms the next morning. Those huge arms were wrapped around me so tight, it had almost a possessive feeling to it. That’s when that low self esteem kicked in. I tried to get out of his grip before he woke up and realized what a huge mistake he’d made. I was almost there when I heard his voice ask me where I thought I was going. I lied me ass off and told him I had to go to the bathroom. He relaxed his grip and let me up. I figured I could sneak out quietly when he fell back to sleep. That was, until I was halfway to the bathroom or the door, I hadn’t made up my mind at the time. That’s when I heard him again. “You better bring your ass back soon. You’re not gettin’ away from me that easy Chris.” Those were his exact words. He called me Chris. I didn’t even realize he knew my real name. He’d called me Abyss the entire night.

When I crawled back into his bed is when the memories of the previous night came flooding back to me like some kind of emotional damn had broken. When he wrapped those arms around me again, I wasn’t sure what to think. My head was swimming. It was too much to hope for that he’d fallen in love with me and we’d ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. I mean things like that didn’t happen to guys like me. I laid there for a while with my head on his strong chest, listening to him breathe and occasionally snore a little, hopelessly unable to go back to sleep myself. I remember being so confused. I didn’t know what to think about any of this. A couple of hours must have gone by before he woke up. I felt him kiss the top of my head, and I froze again. Every muscle in my body tensed. I just knew this was the moment he was gonna realize who he was in bed with, and then he’d tell me to get out and not tell anyone this ever happened. I was prepared for that. I was used to that. I was absolutely not prepared for what he said.

“You gotta stop tensin’ up like that big man. You’re gonna give me a complex.” With that said, he tapped my arm, and got out of bed, leaving me there more confused than I’d ever been in my life. I don’t know how long I laid there, but the next thing I knew he was coming out of the bathroom, freshly showered and dressed. “You just gonna lay there all day, or you gonna get a shower and get dressed so I can take you out?” He said, as he put on his watch, and stuffed his wallet in his back pocket. I don’t know what made me get out of that bed, but something did. The next thing I knew we were in his car, driving to some restaurant. That’s when it hit me. This was some kind of cruel joke. He was probably taking me to someplace to prance the little freak around and give everyone a good laugh. I tried to push the thought out of my head. I was finally successful after we returned to the hotel about midnight and nothing bad had happened. In fact, it turned out to be one of the best days of my life.

The next couple of days went by in much the same fashion. If we weren’t at work we were with each other. And I hate to admit it, but he spoiled me. Yes, he spoiled the monster Abyss. Around the fourth night we were together, I thought my heart was going to explode. That’s the night he told me that he loved me. I didn’t even have to think about my response. I told him I loved him too. We’ve been together ever since. Over the last two months, I’ve grown closer to him everyday. Then suddenly last night my world was ripped apart by three little words. “I can’t breathe.” That’s what he whispered to me at about two in the morning. After realizing that it wasn’t the weight of my head that was causing the problem, I rushed him to the hospital as fast as I could.

That’s where I’m sitting right now. Beside his bed in the hospital. They have him hooked up to so many machines, I’m almost afraid to touch him. All I can do is sit here holding his hand, listening to the beeps of machines. Seeing him like this is almost more than I can bear. The man I love, the only man that has truly ever loved me, and the strongest person that I know, is laying in this bed in Puerto Rico fighting for his very life. I feel so helpless. He’s given me so much confidence, and so much courage, and there’s nothing I can do but sit here holding his hand and crying. He’s scheduled for surgery tomorrow. I just wish I could trade placed with him, take his place. Jeremy Borash is staying with me. He’s a really good friend, but to be completely honest I wish he’d just go away. Ever since Scott and I got together, it’s sort of been us against the world. Sure there’s been a few people that have been supportive, but not many. I just think that I’d get through this a lot better if it was just me and Scott. They say misery loves company, but this misery hates company.