Have you ever opened your eyes, maybe even after a blink and realized that your entire life has been some kind of lie? I have. It happened last week. I had just gotten back from taking Matt home. I had to pick him up at the car dealership, because his vette needed work. I had just walked into my own door, and it hit me like a knockout punch from a prize fighter. I am madly, deeply, truly, passionately, head over heels in love with Matthew Moore Hardy. He hadn’t done anything special or different that day, but still that’s the day it decided to smack me in the face. I danced around my house for about an hour, intoxicated with my new found love. That’s when it hit me again. We could never be together. Thanks to William Jason Reso, that is.

You see, about three years ago, Jay came into Matt’s life.... wait, more like came in Matt, and swept him off his feet. Hell, I was Matt’s best man at their wedding. I’ve been helping Matt plan their third anniversary party for the last month. Now here I am, stuck wanting someone that can never be mine. The funny thing is that I considered myself friends with Jay, until the minute that I realized he was the reason that I would never have Matt. Now, unbeknownst to him, I consider us mortal enemies. There’s only one good thing that could come from this. All this, new found, angst has helped with my new bad ass attitude at work.

Don’t get me wrong, Jay treats Matt good, but not great. Not like the prince that he should be treated like. Sure he comes home after every show with a present for Matt, but he leaves him. He’s not on the same show, or even in the same company anymore. That equals a lot of lonely nights for Matt. A guy like Matt Hardy should never be left alone to rot in some hotel room with nothing but his hand to keep him company. If he was mine, I could show him unbridled passion every night. I could also give him much more than little trinkets. I’ve invested well. I could lavish him with gifts befitting a prince.

I feel like my life is spinning out of control. My every waking thought is of Matt. I’ve even found myself scribbling his name on pieces of paper like some love sick teeny bopper. Everything I do is consumed with thoughts of him. When I eat, I think of how much he would enjoy this meal with me. When I drive, I think about him sitting in the passenger seat singing along with the CD that I’m playing. When I turn on my computer, I’m searching for pictures of him. Like there could possibly be one that I don’t already have. The dictionary defines the word obsession as an unhealthy and compulsive preoccupation with something or someone. Yeah, that describes it. I’m obsessed.

Possessed, is more the word. Yeah that one’s defined as being influenced or controlled by a powerful force such as a strong emotion. Well, the powerful force is Matt, and the emotion is love. I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I can’t go on this way. The only thing that is certain in my life right now is the fact that I have to have him. The sight of him and Jason together makes me physically ill. The thought of what they do behind closed doors, gives me completely psychotic thoughts. Jason’s hands all over him, their bodies writhing together as they perform sexual acts on one another. If I think about it to long, I’ll probably go crazy.

What the hell does Jason have that I don’t. Sure he’s the NWA world heavy weight champion, but I’m the WWE cruiserweight champion. He’s got that short blonde hair. I have short brown hair. He has intense blue eyes. I have deep, dark brown ones. He has a flabby body, and mine is getting better by the day. It should, I practically live at the gym these days. His smile always looks fake, and mine is genuine. Especially when I look at Matt. He doesn’t have anything that I don’t, except Matt.

Well that’s all about to change. I’ve got a plan, and it’s fool proof. It’s gonna work, because I will not be denied what is rightfully mine any longer. Matt Hardy is mine. He just needs a little help noticing that. All I have to do is get Jason out of the way, and he’ll fall into my arms. Sure it will be for comfort at first. I don’t expect him to get over Jason easily, but in time his grief will subside, and he’ll realize where he’s always belonged. Right here with me. Let’s face it! Which sounds better? Matthew Moore Reso, or Matthew Moore Helms?