He’s been singing that damned song all day long. It’s all I’ve heard. We’re moving from a shitty little apartment into our first house. I mean the first house that we actually own. But does he have to keep singing that damned song. I think I’m gonna loose my mind before all this is said and done. I mean, don’t get me wrong, we’ve been packing all day and moving stuff onto the truck, so he has no shirt on, he’s sweaty, and he’s lifting heavy stuff which is flexing his muscles. I’m not complaining about the view I have, I’m complaining about the constant assault on my eardrums. Sure I look like a pretty patient guy on TV, but my patients is running thin with Christopher Harris right now.

There he goes again.

Well we're movin on up, To the east side.
To a deluxe apartment in the sky.
Movin on up
To the east side.
We finally got a piece of the pie.

Yeah! That’s what I’ve been listening to since six o’clock this morning. Now six o’clock is an ungodly time to get out of bed anyway, but he woke me up singing that song in my ear. It was cute then, but the cuteness wore off by seven, trust me. You can only listen to the theme song to The Jefferson’s for so long. I just want to scream at him, ‘Chris there’s other show’s babe! Gilligan's Island, The Love Boat, The Muppets! Just stop singing that song.’ But that would hurt his feelings.

Fish don't fry in the kitchen;
Beans don't burn on the grill.
Took a whole lotta tryin'
Just to get up that hill.

Well, I’ll have to give him some props here. He did pick the right song. It took us a whole hell of a lot of trying to get to this day. Trust me when I tell you, keep an eye on your credit report. We didn’t and it’s taken us three long and grueling years to make it to moving day. But we’re finally here, and the house is perfect. It’s a ranch style house on the outskirts of Nashville. I can’t wait to get there and make it ours. If Chris makes it that long.

Now we're up in the big leagues
Gettin' our turn at bat.
As long as we live, it's you and me baby
There ain't nothin wrong with that.

I can’t believe it! I’m singing with him! God help me! But, you know, when you break this song down, it really is me and Chris. We’re finally on TV on a weekly basis, so I guess we are in the big leagues now. And Chris and I have been together forever now, so I guess it is just me and him baby. And yeah there ain’t nothing wrong with that. That still doesn’t help the fact that I’m singing this stupid song with him.

Well we're movin on up,
To the east side.
To a deluxe apartment in the sky.
Movin on up
To the east side.
We finally got a piece of the pie.

Well, that makes about the ten thousandth time I’ve heard that today, but finally everything’s loaded. We’d enlisted some help, but I guess their just gonna meet us at the new house. I hope anyway, because my back’s killing me. We live in a third story apartment so guess what? Yep, we had to carry most of the stuff down the stairs. I don’t think I can face carrying it all in the new place by ourselves.

We get in the truck we rented and head to the new place. Sure enough there is all our help, sitting there on their asses waiting. Couldn’t have showed up earlier at the old place, could ya fellas? Chris starts singing as we pull into our new driveway. Yeah, James Storm and Chris Harris have a new driveway. Ain’t it cool? I’m almost touched when I actually stop tuning Chris out and listen to what he’s singing.

Home Sweet Home, by Motley Crue.

It is sweet. Isn’t it?