
UWA World Heavyweight title,
FILL Heavyweight title, WCW World Tag Team title, and the JCW Heavyweight title,
they all hung on the wall, gleaming in the warm sunlight that shone through the
windows of yet another apartment. Ian Hodgkinson stood back gazing at what, any
other person in his profession, would cosider a good resume. To Ian, though, all
those peices of gold represented was loss. Loss of time, loss of health, and
loss of love. He’d spent the last eleven years of his life chasing swaths of
gold, when he should have been chasing the only thing in his life that had ever
truly meant anything to him. The man known the world as Raven, but known to Ian
as Scott Levy.
It was around 1998 when a young kid, known only as Vampiro, walked into the
backstage area of WCW. He’d landed his first contract with a major organization,
and quickly came to realize that the boys in the back had never encountered
anyone like him before. He had tattoos all over his body, his face was made up
to look like some kind of zombi, his hair was in long stringy braids that fell
in his face, and he was completely dressed in black. It didn’t take him long to
realize that he wasn’t going to be well received in the back. That didn’t bother
him too much, though, he knew once he got in front of the crowd and was able to
shine, everyone would warm up to him. He didn’t get worried until two months
later when he still hadn’t stepped through that curtain.
Frustrated, Ian paced through the locker room on most nights, wondering if the
money was really worth it. On the night of June 16, 1998, he’d decided it
wasn’t. He grabbed his gear, which he didn’t even bother to unpack anymore, and
headed out of the locker room to go tell management he quit. That’s when he
heard the words that would change his life, although he didn’t know it at the
time. “Is it because they’re not using you, or because everyone thinks you’re a
freak?” The voice was smooth and low, sending undesired shivers up Ian’s spine.
He turned around to see who was talking and couldn’t see anyone there. He turned
back around and started back down the hall. “You didn’t answer my question Ian.”
The voice said again with the same smooth, low tone as before.
“How the hell did you know my name?” Ian said, spinning on his heels and
dropping his gear, once again noticing that no one was there. “I haven’t told
anyone my name.” He said, feeling a little foolish, talking to the shadows. He
waited a few seconds for a response. The only noise that he heard was the roar
of the crowd from the arena. “Show yourself.”
A figure stepped out of the shadows, clad in blue jean shorts, a t-shirt with
some skulls on it, and a leather jacket. “I know your name becuase, unlike the
blithering idiots we have to associate with in this business, I know how read.
You were the UWA World Heavyweight Champion in Mexico, you’ve worked in Japan,
and you’ve worked countless independent shows. Oh yes, Ian, I know your name.”
The man said, still keeping his face in the shadows.
Ian knew who it was the minute he laid eyes on the mans body. “If you must know,
Scott, it’s both.” Ian said, knowing he’d never get away from the infamous Raven
if he didn’t answer the man’s question. “I’m tired of just sitting back here
with my thumb up my ass. I came here to work. And sittin’ back here isn’t a
whole hell of a lot of fun when no one talks to me. So it’s both.”
Scott stepped out of the shadows, showing his face for the first time. His
highlighted, curly hair fell around his hardened face and seemed to soften it a
little. The light gleamed off the ring through his eyebrow, and his eyes told of
horrors that most men pray they never encounter. That’s what Ian found so
remarkable about the man that stood before him. He’d willingly put his body,
mind, and soul through tortures that most people couldn’t even fathom, and still
had the ability to stand there, dripping with sex appeal. “Tonight, you stay
with me.” Scott said, putting his hands in his pockets. “I believe I can
convince you to stay.” He stepped back into the shadows, leaving Ian to stand
there and wonder what lay ahead of him that night.
The alarm on Ian’s cell phone tore him away from his memories. “TNA.” He said,
outloud, when he looked at his phone. He went to the kitchen, got himself a beer
and flopped down on his couch, seizing the remote. Scott hadn’t been on TV since
the whole ‘firing’ angle went down, but Ian watched religiously every week, just
hoping to see a glimpse of the man he used to call his. He was especially
looking forward to tonights show. He’d gotten a call from James Mitchell earlier
in the week, telling him he needed to watch the show.
It didn’t take Ian long to figure out why. The news that Raven had been
reinstated rang in his ears like a gong, the vibrations carrying through to his
dick as he watched Scott come through the crowd. He looked a little out of
shape, but Ian couldn’t have cared less. His true love was on the screen. That’s
all that mattered. Disappointment sat in when the show was over and Ian hadn’t
gotten another look at Scott, but he had work to do. He finished off his beer
and started packing more things up.
Ian had always hated moving, but he’d always thought there was no use in staying
somewhere too long also. “I don’t even know why I bother to unpack anymore.” Ian
said to himself as he opened his closet door. This was the last of it. After the
closet it would be all packed up. All he had to do then was load the u-haul, and
he was on to the next town. He was just about finished when he pulled a leather
jacket out of the back of the closet. He literally had to sit down as emotions
and memories flooded his soul.
“Scott, you’ve been beating yourself up for years.” Ian said, laying in bed and
watching Scott pack his bag. “Why do you have to go?”
Scott put the final things in his bag and zipped it up. He looked up at Ian and
saw the sadness etched on his face. That was a look he was becoming all to
accustomed to seeing. It was there every time he had to leave. He crawled back
onto the bed, straddling Ian’s hips and bent down kissing him softly on the
lips. “Because, they need me.” Scott said, placing a finger over Ian’s lips to
silence his protests. “I told them I’d be there, so I have to go.”
Ian kissed Scott’s finger. “But I need you too.” Ian said, pouting in a way that
would have had any Vampiro fan laughing their asses off. “Doesn’t that mean
anything to you?”
“Angel, you know you’re the only one that matters to me.” Scott said, laying
another kiss on Ian’s lips. “But, we go through this every time. You know I have
to go.” Scott got off the bed, feeling Ian tugging on his cloths, trying to get
him back into bed. “It’ll only be a couple of weeks and I’ll see you again.” Ian
watched as Scott picked up his bag and headed for the door. “Walk me out?”
Ian got out of bed, throwing on a pair of boxers, and walked Scott to the door.
He figured he had one chance at this. Before Scott could open the door, Ian
pressed his weight against him and kissed him, passionately. The kind of kiss
that makes you forget everything else, except the one that’s in front of you.
Their hands roamed freely over the other’s body. When the kiss broke, both men
were flush and their chests heaved against each other, their lungs desperately
needing air. “Stay.” Ian said, hoping passion would be enough to keep his love
there.
“I’ll see you in two weeks.” Scott said, opening the door. “Three tops.” He
kissed Ian and was out the door.
Ian turned around, and saw Scott’s leather jacket laying on the couch where it
was haphazardly tossed the night Scott had showed up. Ian picked it up and could
still smell the scent of Scott all over it. When they’d first started out, it
was just about the sex. But somehow, on this crazy journey they were both on, it
had turned into something more. It had turned into love. Ian put the jacket on
and laid down on the couch, drifting off into sleep and wondrous dreams of a
life with Scott.
The pain in Ian’s heart, knowing that was the last time he’d seen Scott ripped
him from his memories. He fell asleep that night holding that leather jacket,
breathing in the scent of Scott that clung to it as desperately as Ian did.
The next morning Ian awoke, knowing he had a lot of work to do. It took him
until dusk to load his belongings in the truck. “Canada’s gonna be cold.” He
said to himself as he threw the jacket he’d slept with last night in the
passenger seat. He shut the back doors on the truck, got in the driver’s seat,
and sat there for a few minutes. The pain in his heart could not be denied. “Who
am I kidding?” He said to himself again, snatching up the atlas that lay just
beneath the jacket. “Atlanta, here I come.”