I know I have a big day ahead of me tomorrow. With Wrestlmania this close, Vince has us all working like dogs. I’m already exhausted from the schedule he’s got us all on. I know I should just go to the hotel and get some sleep. I can’t though. I only have one thought on my mind. Destination X is re playing in about 30 minutes. I have just enough time to get something to eat and get back to the hotel and order it.

I almost forgot what it was like to feel like a fan. Here I am, Chris Jericho, the self proclaimed “King Of The World”, and I’m speeding down city streets just to get back to the hotel and see a glimpse of the true king of MY world. I’m nervous as hell too. I know you have a very tough and dangerous match tonight. If that animal hurts you I’ll fly to Orlando and kill him with my bare hands.

I’m back at the hotel with ten minutes to spare. I pick up the remote for the television and order the PPV.

I’m sitting here eating the stuff I’d gotten from the closest restaurant I could find, Taco Bell, watching the stories play out in front of me. I use to just sit here and wait for you to come out, but after talking to you so much about it, I find myself intrigued in these storylines. AMW just came out. That James Storm is a good looking guy. Hope you don’t think the same. Still the thought of what could happen to you in your match is weighing on my mind. So again I find myself just sitting here and not paying much attention.

That is until a heavy percussion line catches my attention. Followed by the sexiest voice I’ve ever heard. Then there you are. My painted little piece of heaven. Dancing there in the shadows that they’ve created for you, I can’t help but let all my worry for you slip away, as I feel the familiar stirring in my groin. I’m glued to the TV. I can’t take my eye’s off the way your body is moving, the look in your eyes. Then you do the one thing that could make me cum right now. You looked straight into the camera and you were singing. You know what that does to me, and I can’t help but think it was meant just for ME. And that video they showed was just the sexiest thing I’d ever laid my eyes on.

My joy is short lived however, as that monster started attacking you. You quickly came back though and it didn’t take long for the me lay to spill into the parking garage. When he sat up those tables I had to close my eyes. I know you say your body is conditioned for this but it still kills me every time you take a bump like that. Then you came back again and beat him until he was the one laying on those tables. “NO JEFF!!!!” Why do you have to find the tallest things in the building to jump off of? I guess it worked out though he didn’t move and you landed your Swanton.

Thank God the actions back in the ring now. I know you can get hurt in the ring too, but not as much as everywhere else in the building. Oh great here come the chairs. “JEFF MOVE, MOVE!!!!” I’m screaming at the TV as that inhuman monster hit a splash on the chair that just happened to be laying over your prone body. “OH GOD NOT AGAIN” Thank God you moved away from that one. This is killing me baby I hope you know that.

“What the hell are you doing baby? Oh shit please not the ladder” Great now I’m talking to myself. It doesn’t matter though as I see you ascend the ladder and do a leg drop off the top. One of these days you’re gonna jam your ass up into you neck with that move.

There you go through another table. You recover quickly though and “YES!!!!!!!” You landed the twist of fate. That’s it, it’s all over now. 1....2....3, and the crowd and one very proud Canadian go wild. Thank god that’s over. I feel like I’ve been through the match with you baby. I’m just about to pick my cell phone up and call you, like I do after every match you have, when I see that beast get up and attack you. “YOU FUCKING ASS HOLE. GET OFF HIM!!!!!!!!!!!” I’m out of my seat at this point. What did he just pull out from under the ring. It’s a black bag. Great he has a little bag of tricks how fucking cute.

“OH GOD NO!!! JEFF, BABY, GET OUT OF THE RING!!!” I’m screaming again at the TV as I see the shiny thumb tacks scatter over the surface. I put my hands over my eyes, just peeking through my fingers, trying to shield myself from what I’m about to see. And then IT happened. My baby’s soft, tender back, black hole slammed onto a pile of thumb tacks. I can see the pain radiating from the angelic features of your face. You roll over and I see those tiny devices of torture sticking into your smooth flesh. But my heart completely broke when the camera got a good shot of your face. It was like no one was home. There was just pure agony written all over your face. I couldn’t help the tears that started to fall from my eyes, knowing I couldn’t be there to tend to you.

It was at that minute that I remembered this was just a re play. I grab my phone again and can barely dial your number, because I’m shaking so hard. Partly because I can only imagine the pain you must be in and partly because I want to kill that fucking monster for hurting you like that.

“Hello?” There it is the sexiest voice I have ever heard.

“Baby are you ok?”

“I’m fine darlin’”

“I’m gonna kill that ass hole. He had no right to do that to you baby” I say as the anger starts to show in my voice.

“Don’t kill him Chris. This was a good feud. And hey I think I got a holy shit chant, so the match went great.” He said with a perfectly calm voice, that always sends shivers down my spine.

“I know, but why do you have to do such crazy things in the ring?”

“Hey darlin’, I heard what kind of match your gonna have at mania. I can’t let you show me up.” He says almost giggling.

“Yeah, but did you have to set the bar so fucking high baby?” I replied with an air of nervousness in my voice. I better come up with something great for mania to top this

“Well Chris, in the words of my all time favorite, and by far the sexiest rock God I’ve ever seen.....Don’t you wish you were me?”

I hate it when he uses my own lyrics against me.