
Choices and
decisions can make or break your life. I know, I’ve made my share of good and
bad ones. I think it’s funny, though, how the line between the good and the bad
decisions gets blurred sometimes. Take me and my husband for example. One of the
worst decisions I’ve ever made, led me to one of the best, and easiest, choices
of my life. That one bad choice, propelled me to where I am today. Standing in a
room full of family and friends, celebrating the best day of my life. My
commitment to Mark Calloway.
It’s been five years since I stood in front of that minister and said the words
that would forever change my life, and my reason for living. ‘I Jeffrey Nero
Hardy take you Marcus Alexander Calloway to be my partner, in life, love, and
whatever the world can throw at us.’ Those were my exact words on that fateful
day, and my life has been forever altered. For the better, of course.
I’m not about to stand here and make you believe that our life together has been
all peaches and cream. We’ve had our share of hard times. Growing up the way I
did, you know with just my dad and my brother, money would get tight from time
to time. I remember thinking that all I needed was a whole bunch of money and
everything in my life would be great. Just goes to show you how naive a young
North Carolina boy can be. I quickly found out that money doesn’t solve all
problems. There are circumstances, and situations in life that the richest, and
the poorest man must deal with.
Let’s take being happy at your job. After working in the WWE, I found out that
some of the wealthiest people I knew weren’t happy. And neither was I. I decided
to leave the company, to find happiness elsewhere. That was the bad decision I
mentioned earlier.
You see Mark and I had been dating for a little over six months when I made that
decision. Without discussing it with him, I might add. Needless to say he was
not exactly thrilled with it. He was so thrilled with it, in fact, that he broke
up with me. I couldn’t believe it. I had quit my job and lost the love of my
life all with one, very shitty, decision. I did what any heart broken country
boy would do. I secluded myself in my house and poured my heart out in my music,
and poetry. Little did I know that Mark was pouring his out with every bottle of
Jim Beam he drank.
I had heard the rumors that Mark was not doing well with the break-up. Every
time I heard one of those rumors, it would just cause me to withdraw from every
one and everything even more.
If it weren’t for my brother, Matt, I don’t even think that I would be here
right now. He went to Mark and told him that I wasn’t doing well, and thank God,
the big man found it in his heart to forgive me. One night he showed up on my
doorstep, on bended knee, with the most beautiful engagement ring I had ever
seen. I remember the words he said as if they were burned into my mind. ‘Jeff, I
can’t live without you, I know because for the last two months I’ve tried. I
know I got angry with you, and said some things that I hope you never forgive me
for, because they will be a constant reminder of how much I should cherish you.
I love you Jeff Hardy, and I don’t want to go on with one more day of my life
without you in it. Will you marry me?’ Well that was the easiest decision I’ve
ever had to make in my life.
The second easiest decision in my life was they day Mark came to me and
expressed his desire to have a child. I was elated. I had always wanted
children. I assumed that we were going to adopt. Boy was I wrong.
Mark wanted us to have a child. Literally. At the time the process that we had
to go through seemed frustrating and overwhelming. Finding the right woman,
donating the sperm, trying to decide who’s sperm should be used. I wanted to use
Mark’s, because he was the stronger of the two of us, not only physically but
mentally as well. He wanted to use mine, because I was the more creative of the
two, and he said I had the face of an angel (even though I don’t see it). Then
there were the countless times we had gotten our hopes up only to have them
dashed, by a negative reading at every doctor’s appointment we went to.
One day the doctor approached us about doing invetro fertilization. That’s where
they take sperm and an egg and put it in this little dish and let them do there
thing. Then when they have fertilization, they implant the baby into the woman.
I’m sure there’s more technical ways of explaining it, but I’ve never really
been a technical kind of guy. I leave that stuff to my love. Anyway, the doctor
explained that he could put both our sperm in the dish and that way we wouldn’t
have to choose which one to use. As Mark put it, we could just let fate decide.
So we went for it.
Fate decided about a year later. When Alexandria Hardy Calloway was born. I
insisted that the baby have Mark’s last name, since I’m in the process of having
mine changed as well. The country may not recognize our marriage as a legal one,
but damn if I can’t have his last name. It’s just taking forever. That’s how we
decided on the middle name as well. He said if the baby was to carry his last
name then she would have my last name as her middle name. I thought it was kind
of sweet. Her first name is of course after the one that I believe to have given
her life. Marcus Alexander Calloway.
He says that I’m just looking too hard, but any fool could look at this child
for one minute and realize that she belongs to Mark. Especially since she’s
gotten a little older. At the tender age of three she has the most adorable
strawberry blonde hair with just the tiniest hint of a curl. Her eyes are the
color of emeralds, and her smile.... Wow it just screams Mark. Yeah this little
girl is going to be heart breaker. And she’s ours.
I can’t believe I’m someone’s father. That thought alone is scary enough to have
me running for the hills. The day we brought her home, I was so nervous, I
wouldn’t even hold her. I was scared that, as clumsy as I am, I would break her,
or drop her, or any one of the thousands of things you can do to hurt something
that small and helpless. I quickly got over it though. Those little things are
tougher than you would think.
Suddenly one day I woke up to see Mark laying in bed beside me with her laying
on his chest, and something inside me just swelled with love. I don’t know what
it was, but at that moment, it all became real to me. We’re a family and always
will be.
She’s running around here somewhere. Probably bugging her Uncle Matty. That’s
what she calls him, and she also thinks that he hung the moon and stars. I guess
I can understand that I did too when I was her age.
So here I stand. Surrounded by the family and friends, that accepted us readily,
and those that had to sleep on it for a while. I’ve also got the most wonderful
husband anyone, man or woman, could ever ask for. He’s standing over there
talking to some of my friends from TNA, that came to celebrate this day with us.
I can’t help but notice the way that James Storm seems not at all interested in
what Mark has to say though. He keeps looking across the room. I let my eyes
follow the path of his attention, and see that it’s not Chris Harris that he’s
staring at, but my best friend, Shannon Moore.
I know Mark told me ‘NO MATCHMAKING’ after the Matt and Adam situation (I can’t
believe Adam could cheat on my brother) but I think this situation could use a
little divine intervention. After all Mark has always called me an angel.