It had been a month - a long, slow, tortuous month - since Sean had left. All Dave had to do was close his eyes and he could replay that day in his mind, never missing a single detail. He remembered going through the rest of the night in slow motion - driving to the arena, punching Hunter in the face, working the show, hauling ass in his rental car all the way to Louisville. When he got to Sean's apartment, it was empty except for the roses he had sent and the answering machine.

The roses lay shredded on the kitchen counter, the pieces of broken glass from the vase still littering the floor. Rose petals covered the counter, looking like tiny red teardrops. The red light on the answering machine blinked at him and Dave reached over and pushed it, listening as the messages played back. There were 4 from him - frantic ramblings, begging Sean to pick up the phone. There was another from someone with a heavy Asian accent, asking Sean to call back with his new cell number so they could confirm his travel arrangements. At least now Dave knew where Sean was going.

The last message is what caught his attention. It was Sean's voice, a memo he must have recorded before he left. "Hey Dave. I knew you'd call, or come to see me, and I thought this would be easier than writing you a note. I don't know what happened with you and Hunter, and I ain't even sure I want to know. The only thing I'm sure of right now is that I can't be here any more. If nothing happened with the two of you, that's fine. But, either way, you lied to me and that…well, that really hurts."

Dave leaned on the counter, hanging on every word Sean was saying, wondering if he was really hearing it. "You made me feel things that I ain't ever felt in my life, man. You…you made me fall in love with you, care about you, worry about you. Hell, nobody else ever did that before. I don't want to believe that you would throw all that away, especially not for a piece of shit like Hunter. I knew if I stayed, if I saw you, I wouldn't know if I wanted to kiss you or kill you, so for both of our sakes, I left. Don't try to find me. Don't call me. I need some time to think."

Dave sat there for hours, listening to Sean's words over and over again before he finally unplugged the machine and took it with him. Slowly he walked around the apartment, looking for something - anything - that Sean might have left behind. In the bedroom, he stood staring at the mirror for a long time before reaching up and pulling the photograph out of the frame. Looking at the two of them, laughing, smiling, just…being in love brought tears to his eyes. Dave sat on the edge of the bed and finally let the tears fall.



Sushi and swords. Those were the two things Sean was looking forward to the most. Well, that and the fact that he was going to get a chance to kick somebody's ass and get paid for it. He tried not to think of anything else, just concentrating on his training and doing a little sightseeing. He has already spent a small fortune on things to take back home, little trinkets that meant nothing to anyone but himself.

He tried not to think about…him. He tried not to remember the good times, or the way Dave made him feel. He told himself that he didn't care, but a man can only lie to himself for so long before he has to face the truth. Sean couldn't count the number of times he had picked up the phone and started dialing Dave's number, only to hang up before it started ringing.

He couldn't remember the number of mornings he had awakened, his pillow wet from the tears he had cried throughout the night. He didn't know what he was going to do when he left here, but he did know one thing - time may heal all wounds, but it sure as hell takes a lot of it to get there. Everywhere he looked, Sean saw something that would remind him of Dave and it would just push him deeper and deeper into a state of despair.

Sean wanted to talk to someone, just have them listen to his thoughts, but he knew he couldn't count on his old friends to do that without reminding him of all the times he himself had done what he thought Dave had. After a particularly bad night, Sean decided he couldn't take it any longer. If his old friends couldn't help him, maybe a new one could. He found the number he wanted in his tattered notebook and dialed it, hoping this would finally ease his mind.



The show had just ended and the locker room was still pretty full. Dave had just finished getting dressed, slowly putting his things back in his bag. He was trying to avoid everyone, knowing that his attitude lately had been the talk of everyone backstage. He tried to ignore the stares, the whisperings when they thought he couldn't hear. And he avoided Hunter and Randy like the plague, knowing if he had to be around them any more than necessary, someone would die.

He heard the distinctive sound of a cell phone ringing and hoped for a moment that it was his. He let out a sigh when he saw Adam reach for his phone and answer it in his unnaturally chipper voice. People like that should be shot, Dave thought as he zipped his bag and slung it over his shoulder. He thought he saw Adam shoot him a look of sympathy as he whispered on the phone, but as he left, Dave decided it was just his imagination.



Adam watched Dave walk out the door, then sat on the bench, listening intently to the man on the other end of the phone. After a while, he finally spoke. "Look, man," he said, quickly checking to make sure no one could hear him, "I don't know what happened, or what you think is happening, but let me tell you, he's absolutely miserable. Has been for a couple of weeks now. And he got fined for beating the hell out of Hunter." Adam shook his head as a giggle came over the line.

"So, how are things going over there?" he asked. "You eat any good Chinese food lately?" Both men laughed at the joke, making fun of one of the many stupid things Matt Hardy had said at one point in time. Adam finished dressing while he talked, still having the phone pressed to his ear as he made his way to the parking lot. There were just a few cars left, and he noticed Dave sitting alone on the outer edge of the lot. He said his goodbyes to Sean and made his way over to the car.



Dave looked up, startled by the tap on his window. He rolled his eyes slightly when he saw who it was, but thanked the gods that it wasn't Randy. He wasn't too sure if Adam was more annoying or what, but he was curious to find out what the guy wanted, so he rolled the window down and looked up at Adam. "What?" he barked, hoping his tone of voice would be enough to scare the guy away.

No such luck, he thought as Adam kneeled down, resting his arms on the open window frame. "You headed to the hotel?" Adam asked nonchalantly. Dave nodded. "I was supposed to get a ride with Jay, but it looks like he left me. Think I could bum a ride with you?" Adam smiled, showing Dave the glistening whites of his teeth. Dave shrugged and Adam walked around to the passenger side and slid into the seat. "Thanks, man," he said, buckling his seatbelt.

The ride was silent, except for the radio. A couple of times, Adam tried to start a conversation, but Dave either grunted or shrugged in response, so he let it go. When they got to the hotel, Adam looked at him. "How about I buy you a drink?" Adam said cheerfully. Dave turned to him. "Why?" he asked gruffly. Adam shook his head, then replied, "Well, for one, you look like you could use it. And two, it's my way of saying thanks for the ride."

Dave sighed before nodding. Blondie was right about one thing - he could definitely use something to numb his brain right now. They made their way inside, dropping their bags on the floor next to a table in the back and Adam looked down at Dave as he sat. "What'll it be, eh?" he asked. Hemlock, Dave thought. Battery acid. Anything to burn away the memories that tortured him every night. "Beer," he answered. Adam turned toward the bar when Dave's voice stopped him. "And a shot of tequila."

He was lost in thought when Adam returned to the table, setting two bottles and a shot glass in front of him. Dave looked up and then back to the bottles. Adam smiled, shrugging. "I thought you might want more than one shot," he said, nodding toward the bottle of Cuervo. Dave grunted something that sounded like "thanks" as he poured a shot, downing it quickly. Adam sipped his beer slowly, watching Dave out of the corner of his eye.

They sat there for half an hour, making small talk. The clear liquid in the bottle got lower and lower before Adam finally got the courage to say what was on his mind. "He really misses you, you know." Dave looked up at him, his eyes bleary from the effects of the alcohol. "What the hell you talkin' about?" he slurred slightly. Adam smiled slightly. "Sean," he replied. "He really misses you."

"How the hell would you know that?" Dave asked, his voice rising. "When did you talk to him? Where is he? How is he?" Adam leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. "I talked to him tonight," he said, watching Dave's face. "He has a show in Japan tomorrow. And I'm not a real good judge, but I'd say he was fucking miserable." Dave closed his eyes, letting his head drop as he thought of Sean all alone in a hotel room somewhere halfway around the world.

"I didn't know you two were friends," Dave said as he opened his eyes, staring across the table at Adam. "We met in OVW," Adam told him. "Hung out a few times after working out. He talked about you all the time." Dave nodded slowly. "Look, I don't know what happened exactly," Adam continued. "But I do know he misses you. He'll probably kick my ass for telling you this, but he sounds so…lonely without you. Kinda lost, you know?"

Dave sighed, long and loud. "I fucked up," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Hunter told me I could help Sean keep his job if…" Dave looked across the table at Adam who was nodding. "I guess you know the routine, huh." Adam smiled sadly. "I've been around long enough to know how it works. Especially with that asshole." Dave snorted, then took another sip of his beer.

"I told him to fuck off," Dave continued. "The next week, they released Sean. I never told him about Hunter, because…well, I don't know why. But, somebody told him and he got pissed off. Then Hunter said something to me when I was on the phone with Sean and he took it the wrong way, and…that's when he left. Didn't even say goodbye or anything." Adam nodded, reaching across the table to put his hand on Dave's shoulder.

"I know how it is, man," he said. "He just needed some time to think about shit. And he needed time to cool down. But now, I think he realizes that both of you screwed up." Dave nodded, fighting the tears in his eyes. "What do I do now?" he asked quietly. "I can't stand being without him." Adam smiled. "Talk to him," he said as he stood, looking around. "I gotta go to the bathroom." Dave nodded as Adam slipped his cell phone from his pocket and sat it on the table.

Dave reached for the bottle of tequila and bumped Adam's phone. Suddenly, he remembered what Adam had said. He had talked to Sean tonight. Grabbing the phone, he punched the called ID button before pulling a pen out of his bag. He quickly wrote the number down and turned the phone off as Adam came back to the table. "It's late," Adam said, standing next to the table. "I don't know about you, but I have an early flight in the morning."

Dave nodded as he stood, stuffing the cocktail napkin in his pocket and grabbing his bag from the floor. He looked over at Adam, smiling slightly for the first time in weeks. "Thanks, man," he said. "For everything." Dave turned and walked away as Adam smiled, picking his phone up and putting it back in his pocket. Hopefully, he took the bait, Adam thought as he left the bar.

Back in his room, Dave opened his laptop and quickly typed in a website. He scanned the links before finding what he was looking for. He read the information then entered another site. He smiled as the information came up on his screen and he typed away. Standing, he grabbed everything and ran out the door.



The fans had loved the match. They hated him, but then again, wasn't that the way it was supposed to be? Sean had come across as the typical American asshole and they had eaten it all up. They had yelled at him, thrown things, called him names. It felt good to be back in front of a crowd, and even better to get the reaction he had hoped for from them. When the security guards offered to escort him to his car, for his own safety, Sean had laughed at them. He lived for the danger, he told them.

Making his way across the parking lot, Sean noticed someone sitting on the curb near his car. He frowned slightly, wondering how he could get rid of the fan that was obviously waiting for him. As he approached, he noticed that it was a man, a very large man from the looks of it. He wasn't in the mood to get into a fight after his first match there, but he was ready for anything.

Anything, that is, except for what he got. Dave stood and slowly walked toward Sean, holding out a red rose. Sean stopped and stared. "How?" he asked, unable to form any other complete sentences or coherent thoughts. "I'm sorry," Dave said, watching Sean. "For everything." Sean nodded, unable to speak. He studied Dave's face. He looked like hell, Sean thought as a small smile of satisfaction crossed his face.

"I know we can't just forget about what happened," Dave said quickly. "But, I want to start over. I can't take it any more. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. As soon as I found out where you were, I got the first plane over here." Sean took the rose from Dave's hand, smiling. "You look like shit," he said softly. Dave chuckled. "I haven't slept since Sunday," he said. "I got on a plane Monday night after the show. I had to see you."

Sean nodded. He looked into Dave's bloodshot eyes, noticing the unshaved scruff on his chin and couldn't help but smile. Dave smiled back awkwardly. "Can we talk?" he asked hopefully. Sean looked from the rose into the eyes of his lover, smiling. "When do you have to leave?" he asked. Dave cocked his head. "Thursday morning," he replied. "It ain't much time, but I wanted to try and set things straight between us. So, can we talk about it?"

Sean sniffed the rose, then looked at Dave. "No," he said, almost feeling guilty for the look of dejection on Dave's face. "First, we can eat," Sean said. "Then you can get some sleep." Sean moved forward, his hand softly stroking Dave's cheek. "After that, you can fuck me. And then, we'll talk." Dave's eyes shot open and he searched Sean's face. This wasn't a dream, he thought. This was real. He started to ask Sean to pinch him, just to make sure. But, as Sean wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled Dave close, softly kissing his lips, he knew one thing - if this was a dream, he didn't want it to end.


Tell me what I have to do tonight
'Cause I'd do anything to make it right
Let's be us again
I'm sorry for the way I lost my head
I don't know why I said the things I said
Let's be us again
Here I stand
With everything to lose
And all I know is I don't want to ever see the end
Baby please, I'm reaching out for you
Won't you open up your heart and let me come back in
Let's be us again
Oh us again
Look at me, I'm way past pride
Isn't there some way that we can try
To be us again
Even if it takes a while
I'll wait right here until I see that smile
That says we're us again
Here I stand
With everything to lose
And all I know is I don't want to ever see the end
Baby please, I'm reaching out for you
Won't you open up your heart and let me come back in
Let's be us
Baby baby what would I do
I can't imagine life without you
Here I stand
With everything to lose
And all I know is I don't want to ever see the end
Baby please, I'm reaching out for you
Won't you open up your heart and let me come back in
Oh, here I am
I'm reaching out for you
So won't you open up your heart and let me come back in
Let's be us again
Oh let's be us again