
Sean looked around
the tiny apartment he had been living in, trying to figure out what he was going
to do next. They said he had an attitude problem - well, if they wanted
attitude, this was not the place to be right now. He wasn't ashamed to admit
that he was sitting in the dark, listening to the same CD play over and over,
crying his eyes out. Of course, the only reason he wasn't ashamed to admit it
was because there was no one there to admit it to.
A dozen blood red roses had been delivered to him that morning. It caught him
off guard, because as far as he knew, the news hadn't been made public yet.
Maybe someone had mentioned it to Dave and he was trying to make Sean feel
better. But if that was the case, why hadn't Dave called him and told him? Why
hadn't he shown up, ready to take Sean in his arms and offer him comfort? Sean's
mind was going a mile a minute, focusing on everything and nothing in
particular.
His thoughts were interrupted by the ringing phone and he rushed to the kitchen
counter and grabbed the receiver, breathlessly saying hello. His momentary
excitement was gone when he realized it was Mark on the other end, and not Dave.
"Hey man," Mark said, "I just heard the news. I'm real sorry." Sean thanked him
then said, "I still can't figure out the whole point of it, ya know? I mean, why
did they give me a match then cut me 2 days later?"
Mark sighed. "I guess Dave's meeting with Paul didn't go as good as he wanted it
to," Mark said. The silence on the other end of the phone told him that Sean had
no slue about the meeting. "What are you talkin' about, Mark?" Sean asked, not
sure if he wanted to hear the answer. Mark hesitated, then replied, "Well, Randy
told me that Dave had a meeting with Paul in his hotel room last Monday after
the show. At first I thought they were talkin' about Evolution and all, but
Randy said it was just the two of them."
Sean looked over at the flowers on the counter and took a deep breath. He had
been invited to more than one of those "meetings" with Paul while he was working
and he knew all too well what a private invitation could lead to. "You still
there?" Mark's voice brought him back to the present and Sean quickly ended the
conversation, making up something about someone at the door. He stared around
the room with newfound anger. Why didn't Dave tell him about the meeting when he
showed up last week? What was he trying to hide?
Dave was just finishing his last rep at the weight bench when he looked up and
saw Randy coming toward him. He sighed heavily, not really wanting to talk to
anyone right now, much less an annoying little shit like Randy. He had that
goofy grin on his face, the one that meant he had thought of something that was
much funnier to himself than anyone around him. Dave stood, grabbing his towel
and trying to summon the patience it would take to have a conversation with
Randy.
"Whatcha doin' Dave?" Randy asked. Dave looked behind him to the weight bench
and back to the kid standing in front of him. "Um, playing solitaire," Dave
replied. He almost chuckled at the look of confusion on Randy's face. After a
moment, the sarcasm sunk in and Randy laughed. "You're funny, man," he said.
Dave tried to walk past him, but Randy put a hand on his arm, stopping him.
"Paul wants to talk to you," Randy told him. "Noon. In the burger place down on
the corner." Randy looked at his watch. "Looks like you got enough time to
shower and change before then." He didn't wait for Dave to respond before
walking off.
Sean couldn't remember how many times he had picked up the phone and started
dialing Dave's number. He didn't know how long he had sat at the kitchen
counter, staring at the blood red petals of the flowers Dave had sent him. Sean
had thought it was a gesture of love, something to let him know that no matter
what happened, Dave would always be there for him. But now Sean knew the truth -
they weren't an expression of love, but one of guilt. How many times had he done
the same thing? He thought of calling Mark back and asking him, but Sean was
afraid of the answer.
He wasn't aware of anything around him - not the sounds coming from the open
window, the grumbling of his stomach, or the sounds of the television playing
softly in the background. He was so lost in thought that he almost didn't hear
the phone ring. When Sean became aware of it, he quickly grabbed the phone and
said hello. It wasn't Dave. He was so disappointed that what he was hearing
barely registered, but he suddenly became interested. What he really needed
right now was good news, and this was possibly the best news he had heard in a
long time.
Dave walked into the diner and looked around, finally spotting Hunter in the
back booth. His face showed absolutely no emotion, no signs of life whatsoever.
As he sat down, Hunter smiled at him, but it was a hollow smile. Dave stared
across the table at Hunter, not wanting to be the one to start the conversation.
He got his wish a moment later when Hunter looked at him and said, "So, how's
Sean taking the news?" Dave's jaw clenched and he suppressed the urge to reach
across the table and stab Hunter with the knife lying next to his plate.
"You're a prick." Not very creative, but it was the only response Dave could
come up with at the moment. Hunter smiled and leaned back in the booth, putting
his hands behind his head. Apparently Dave's response came as no surprise to him
either. Dave leaned forward and whispered, "One of these days, I swear I'm gonna
get you for this. You have no right to interfere in anyone's life, or career,
like that." Hunter continued to smile and Dave wanted nothing more than to knock
that smile of his face.
"Contrary to popular belief," Dave continued, "you are not god, man." Hunter
laughed out loud. "Says who?" he asked, leaning forward till he was inches from
Dave's face. "I wave my hand and things happen," Hunter said. "Look what I did
for your boyfriend." Dave's fist flew across the table, but Hunter caught it
before it connected. His eyes narrowed, staring holes into Dave. "You ever try
that again, man, and you can join Sean."
A waitress approached the table and asked Dave if he wanted to order. He shook
his head as he stood. "I'm not staying," Dave said, staring at Hunter. Hunter
waved his hand, dismissing him as he finished his lunch. Outside the diner, Dave
paced the sidewalk, cursing under his breath. How in the hell had he let himself
get into this situation? Was it really his fault that Sean had lost his job?
Dave thought for a moment. Which would have been worse - sleeping with Hunter,
or lowering himself to Hunter's standards to keep Sean with the company? Leaning
against the side of the building, Dave pulled out his cell phone and stared at
it for a long while before dialing Sean's number.
Sean was looking around the bedroom, trying to make sure he hadn't forgotten
anything. The bed was piled high with his clothes and other belongings. The
apartment was furnished when he moved in, but there were a few things he would
have to store. He had called his brother and asked him to take care of that for
him. He was waiting for another call from Japan to give him the travel details.
As he folded the clothes piled on the bed, Sean did everything he could think of
to keep the tears back.
Maybe…maybe there was a reasonable explanation for Dave not telling him about
the meeting with Hunter. Or maybe Mark was mistaken. Maybe he had misunderstood
what Randy had told him. Sighing heavily, Sean sat on the edge of the bed and
stared at the shirt in his hand. It was Dave's, one that Sean had bought him for
his birthday. The soft black material felt smooth against his skin and it still
smelled of Dave's cologne. Sean buried his face in it, trying to force the
thoughts from his mind.
He jumped when the phone rang and he scanned the room looking for it. Listening
intently, he wrote down his flight information and thanked the man on the other
end for calling. He went back to folding his clothes, knowing that at least one
part of his life was in order. But, he still didn't know how he was going to
tell Dave he was leaving. Sean stared out the window, watching the cars go by on
the highway and thought about calling him. As he reached for the phone, it rang.
"Hi, baby." Sean smiled slightly when he heard Dave on the phone. All the bad
thoughts he had earlier were gone now, just from hearing the low rumble of his
lover's voice. "Hey," Sean replied as he sat on the bed. Looking around the
room, he seemed confused for a moment, and then… "I'm so sorry," Dave said,
leaning his head against the brick wall of the diner.
"What for?" Sean said as his eyes fell on the roses on the kitchen counter once
again. "It's not like you had anything to do with it." Dave paled on the other
end of the phone, swallowing hard. "I just…" he began. "Are you okay? Is there
anything I can do?" Sean took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Dave waited
for him to speak, the seconds dragging out like hours.
"Yeah, there is something," Sean finally said. "Anything," Dave replied. "You
name it, you got it." Sean took another deep breath, then said, "Tell me how
your meeting with Hunter went last week." The world seemed to stop around Dave.
He knew he had done nothing wrong, but his guilt had been eating away at him for
days. "What…what are you talking about?" Dave stammered.
"Randy said you had a meeting with Hunter last week after Raw," Sean said. "You
were late getting here then, remember?" Sean thought. "You told me there was a
lot of traffic. That you couldn't leave right after the show." Sean looked out
the window, silently praying for the right response from Dave. There was silence
on the other end of the phone before Dave answered. "When did you talk to
Randy?' he asked quietly. Sean sighed. Not the response he had wanted - or
needed - to hear.
There was no denial, no telling Sean that he was mistaken, nothing that would
let him know he was being crazy, letting his emotions get the best of him. "I
didn't," Sean said softly. "Mark told me this morning…when he called to say he
had heard about me being let go." Dave gulped. He had screwed up and he knew it.
"Look Sean," he began, "I didn't tell you because it wasn't important. Nothing
happened. Hunter wanted to…talk about some stuff. We talked, I left and came
home to you."
It was partially true - nothing had happened. But only because Dave wouldn't
give in. "If that's all it was, then why didn't you tell me?" Sean asked. "I
mean, if was no big deal, then why not tell me?" Sean stared at a picture stuck
to the mirror, a picture of him and Dave, taken at a Christmas party. Dave's arm
was around his shoulders and both men were smiling. "I…I don't know," Dave
replied. His mind was reeling, trying to figure out what Sean was thinking. "I
guess I was scared."
"Scared of what?" Sean asked, his voice rising slightly in anger. "If nothing
happened, then…" His voice trailed off at the end. "No!" Dave almost shouted
into the phone. "Nothing happened. I mean, Hunter wanted it to, but I told him
no. I couldn't do that to you…to us." Dave's heart was pounding now as Sean took
his time before saying anything. "Like I said, if nothing happened, then you
shoulda told me," Sean said. "But you didn't. So what am I supposed to think?"
"I'm so sorry, baby," Dave said softly, the threat of tears making his voice
crack. "I was wrong. I should've told you all about it, but you were so excited
about your match and I didn't want to upset you." Dave took a deep breath, then
continued. "He told me if I…slept with him, he could make sure you got your spot
back on Smackdown. I was so pissed at him that I punched him. I wanted to beat
the shit out of him, but that would've killed my career, so I just let it go,
and came to you."
Sean's eyes narrowed. "I see," he said shortly. Dave's face filled with
confusion. "What's wrong?" he asked. Sean snorted. "He wanted you to fuck him to
keep my job, but you didn't," Sean said. "And you didn't beat him like the bitch
that he is because you wanted to keep your job." Dave shook his head, trying to
clear the thoughts. "Well, yeah," he said. "What, did you want me to fuck him?"
"Of course not!" Sean said angrily. "You didn't fuck him because you love me,
right? And you didn't tell me because you didn't want to hurt me. I get all
that." Dave breathed a sigh of relief. "But, you lied to me," Sean continued.
"And you kept secrets from me. What you think if it was the other way around?"
Dave didn't even stop to think. "I wouldn't be all pissed off like this," he
said. "Yeah, right," Sean said, standing to pace the room. "You woulda gone off
on me like nobody's business, and you know it!"
Dave was too busy trying to keep his temper that he didn't notice Hunter walk up
silently behind him. "I didn't tell you because I knew you would react this
way," Dave said. "And I figured you didn't need any more aggravation. Is that
what you want to hear, Sean?" On the other end of the phone, Sean seethed in
anger. "What I want is to know the truth, Dave," he said too quietly.
Dave knew that Sean was about to go off, and he was trying to think of
something, anything to say that would stop it. With an evil smile on his face,
Hunter took advantage of the silence to lean close to Dave's ear and whisper
loudly, "C'mon, sweetheart. I think we have enough time for a "nap" before we
have to go to the arena." Dave turned quickly, almost dropping the phone as he
heard Sean screaming on the other end.
As Hunter walked away, whistling a happy little song to himself, he heard Dave
protesting, trying to tell Sean that nothing was going on between the two of
them. And when Sean screamed "FUCK YOU" before hanging up, it was loud enough
for Hunter to hear from down the street. Dave listened to the dead silence on
the phone before hanging up and hitting redial.
Sean looked around the apartment, making sure he had packed everything. He had
been awake all night, packing, pacing and making plans. He had changed the
number on his cell phone, the phone in the apartment was being disconnected
later that day, and he had renewed his passport. He would make a quick stop in
Atlanta to catch up with a few old friends before heading to Japan. Dave had
tried to call him several times, and the light was still blinking on the
answering machine.
His little brother Shann stood in the doorway, waiting for him. He followed
Sean's gaze around the room, his eyes coming to rest on the blinking red light.
Sean turned to him and with a slight smile, said, "Okay, I think that's
everything." Shann nodded toward the counter. "You gonna check that before you
go?" Sean shook his head. "It ain't nothing I wanna hear," he said as he picked
up his bags and locked the door. As he walked away, he heard the phone ringing
again. He knew the message that would be left by heart, but that wasn't going to
stop him. Dave had made his bed - now he could lie in it with someone else.