Title: Once Again.

Author: Kristina Q.

Disclaimer: They don’t belong to me. I just borrow them and have some fun!

Distribution: Anywhere you want just drop me a line.

Couple: Jesse James/Billy Gunn.

Warning: Profanity, male/male graphic sex.

Rating: NC-17.

Spoiler: Somewhere in early 2004.

Feedback: Yes please.

Summary: After several years of separation two former best friends suddenly meet each other again. Old feelings have never been forgotten. Can they renew their friendship? Or start something completely new?

Jesse blinked. He didn’t believe what he had just seen! It couldn’t be true. He rubbed his eyes quickly to make sure he wasn’t just seeing things. To Jesse’s surprise what he saw was real!

Feeling his lips slowly curl upwards, Jesse felt his heartbeat quickening slightly.

He hadn’t seen him for so many years and now he was there again! He had never had the chance to say goodbye properly. To be quite honest then Jesse thought he would never see him again. Ever.

Time stood still for a brief moment. No one moved. Not a sound. Everything blurred but him. The moment of nothingness passed before everything was back to normal again.

Inside Jesse’s mind an inaudible voice was trying to convince him to get away before he would be seen, but for some strange reason his feet wouldn’t cooperate with his brain.

Seconds which seemed as if they were hours passed and then he was standing right behind the one person he had missed more than anything. The only person he had been longing for.

Jesse swallowed hard, trying to collect himself before finally managing to gently poke the other man’s shoulder. Jesse noticed his hand was visibly quivering.

He inhaled deeply as the man before him slowly turned around to face him.

“Hi Billy…” Jesse greeted. He was met by a wide smile. “Jess? Hey man, how are you doing?” His voice sounded so much more beautiful to Jesse than he remembered it.

Jesse momentarily stopped breathing when he unexpectedly felt Billy’s arms wrap around him, giving him a quick hug. He savored the feel of his warm strong arms around him. It might never happen again.

“I’m fine…” Jesse managed to speak as the older man’s embrace loosened. “It’s been so long! You haven’t changed at all!” he smiled slightly, eyes traveling over Billy’s muscular body.

“I wish I could say the same about you, Jess. You look so different…” Billy pointed at his hair, “Got rid of the braids!” Jesse only grinned and shrugged.

“I’m not so fit anymore” he giggled as he looked down at himself. Billy smiled. “You look good…” That caught Jesse off guard. If only he meant it differently. But he didn’t. Jesse knew that. “Thanks.”

A moment of embarrassing silence passed.

“You wanna come with me. Back to my hotel room. To, you know, catch up. 4 years is a long time.” Billy wasn’t exactly sure if he should have asked but he had missed Jesse.

Jesse could feel his lips curl up once again. “Sure!” he didn’t hesitate to answer. He wouldn’t let a chance to spend time with Billy slip away.

***

“Do you want something to drink?” Billy politely questioned. Jesse shook his head much to Billy’s surprise. “No. Only if you’ve got a diet coke…”

Jesse certainly HAD changed! He never said no to a drink. Never let go of an opportunity to get drunk and have fun! Billy couldn’t help but smile at that. Jesse had finally grown up!

While Billy went to get his coke, Jesse just sat on the small couch, waiting patiently. He looked around, examining the large hotel room. Remembering all the times in the past when he and Billy had shared hotel rooms.

All the times he could only watch Billy as he was sleeping peacefully in the other bed. Listened to his soft breathing. Wanted to touch him but couldn’t. Wanted to kiss him. Something he could never do. He would have ruined their friendship if Billy knew how he felt. How he had always felt. Ever since they met each other the first time.

He had missed Billy so much! But why did he want to see him again when he knew he could never have him? It would only make it all even worse. Tonight when he went to sleep then he would only be able to think about Billy. The only person he ever really wanted. But couldn’t have…

A stray tear escaped from Jesse’s reddened eye. He sniffled, wiping his eyes angrily with the back of his hand. He couldn’t let Billy see him like this. Couldn’t let Billy know.

What Jesse didn’t know was that Billy was standing in the doorway, silently watching him. Seeing that single tear trickle down Jesse’s slightly flushed cheek.

“Jess what’s wrong?” Billy carefully asked. The younger man froze as he moved to the couch, setting the coke onto the table before sitting down next to Jesse. He felt him shift a bit, obviously embarrassed. Maybe even frightened.

“Nothing” was all the younger man answered, still sniffling. Billy knew that he was lying. He wrapped an arm around Jesse’s shoulder comfortingly. “Please Jess… Tell me what’s wrong. I can’t stand to see you like this…”

Everything was too much for Jesse. Seeing Billy again after so long. Being so close yet so far. It was overwhelming.

A sob slipped past his lips before he buried his face in his hands, no longer able to hide his emotions. Billy didn’t know what to do. He had never seen Jesse this upset before. All he could do was embrace his friend and hold him tightly.

Billy was stroking Jesse’s back soothingly, feeling him shudder slightly against his hand. The sobs seemed to cease now though. If only he knew the cause of Jesse’s tears. He wished he would tell him. Maybe he could help him some way. He wanted to help.

Jesse sniffled a few more times, pushing himself out of Billy’s arms and took a shuddering intake of breath.

“I’m sorry…” Jesse’s voice was broken. He wiped his eyes, turning away from Billy. “S’ok,” Billy said softly, “You wanna talk about it?”

“No… You wouldn’t understand anyway…” Billy was puzzled, glaring at Jesse as he rose from the couch. “Please tell me. Maybe I’d understand. I could help you!” Jesse only snorted.

“I should leave!”

“No Jesse don’t go!” that sounded more like a plea than it was supposed to. Billy didn’t care right now as long as it would make Jesse stay. “I’m a fool. I should have stayed away…” he was fighting back tears as he headed towards the door.

“Jesse I don’t want you to leave…” Jesse stopped before reaching for the doorknob, “Give me just one reason to stay” he grabbed the knob, about to leave. “’Cause I love you…” Billy murmured quietly.

“What?!”

Jesse quickly turned around in absolute shock. “I love you” Billy repeated, feeling his cheeks flush. Right now he just wanted to run and hide. He instantly regretted saying that to Jesse.

“But…? Billy…?” Jesse was speechless, not knowing what to say, do or think. He couldn’t believe what he had just heard… Jesse looked as if he was about to faint. Eyes wide. He had just heard the only person he loved say the words he had only dreamed about hearing.

Billy turned away, a single tear droplet falling from his eye. Why did he love someone he could never have? He could have loved anyone else but his former best friend. Anyone…

“Billy…?” Jesse’s voice was so soft, sounding like the most beautiful music in his mind, feeling his warm fingers gently touch his shoulder. Billy sniffled before slowly turning his head to look at his friend. He was waiting for the laughter, the humiliation. He received anything but that though. Instead he felt Jesse’s lips press carefully against his. Almost as if it was something he was imagining.

It started out slowly, cautious. Almost experimentally. The kiss soon grew more passionate, both me eager to taste more of this new exquisite flavor. Feeling Jesse’s tongue playing against his, Billy moaned softly before reaching a hand around to cup the younger man’s neck.

A tremor crawled down his spine when he felt Jesse’s hands slide down his back as he deepened the kiss.

They were both gasping for air when they finally broke the kiss.

The look on Jesse’s face and the brightness in his eyes caused Billy to turn away, covering his mouth with his hand, leaving Jesse puzzled. “What the hell did we just do?” Billy could barely believe it.

Jesse smiled slightly, “I think I kissed you…” he replied, voice coated with joy. Billy couldn’t help but chuckle at that. He sounded so innocent. “I noticed,” he turned to face Jesse again, “But was it a good idea? I mean-“ Jesse successfully cut him off by giving him a quick kiss on the lips.

“I don’t know and I honestly don’t care, Billy” Jesse said before slowly stepping towards the couch again to sit down, obviously not interested in leaving anymore. “All I know is that it felt good. I wanted it. I’ve wanted it for so long,” he sighed softly, eyes looking straight into Billy’s. “Billy, I love you…”

At that very moment Billy felt the overwhelming need to just embrace Jesse and cry in his arms! How could he have been so blind? So stupid? He had been there all those years and he never knew! He should have known.

Jesse glanced at Billy, his eyes seemed to be glowing in the dim light.

“Come here…” Jesse spoke in a low seductive voice as he patted the spot on the couch right next to him. Waiting for Billy to join him. Billy didn’t want to waste anymore time and with no further hesitation he came to Jesse, wrapping a strong arm around the younger man’s waist.

Jesse immediately captured Billy’s moist lips again as he allowed himself to be drawn into the other man’s embrace. He had been waiting for this moment his entire life. Dreaming about this every night since the day he had met Billy.

The sweetest taste. Indescribable and yet exquisite. Jesse was sure that this was addicting. The feel of his warm body pressed against his. He moaned hungrily, shifting in Billy’s arms until he was straddling his hips, feeling Billy’s erection against his inner thigh.

He broke the kiss, gasping for air, violent tremors crawling down his spine, eager to taste more of Billy. For a long moment they looked into one another’s eyes. “I want you…” those words spoken almost inaudibly by Billy penetrated the silence. Creating a wave of shivers along Jesse’s spine and bringing joyful tears to those sparkling eyes of his.

“I love you. I really do.” Billy said before kissing Jesse’s forehead. A small tear droplet touched his hand as it escaped from Jesse’s reddened eye. Billy smiled faintly, rubbing his thumbs over the younger man’s cheekbones, gently wiping away his tears.

“You’ve no idea how much I missed you!” Jesse said as he fought back more tears. They kissed again, Billy smiling against his lips, feeling the younger man gently pushing him back until he was lying on his back, Jesse sprawling on top of him.

Billy arched, a breathy moan slipping from his lips as he felt Jesse grinding against him and he broke the kiss, laughing lightly. “Maybe we should move this into the bedroom…?” The soft smile on Jesse’s face was enough answer for Billy and he quickly rose from the couch, taking Jesse’s hand and together they began walking to the bedroom.

Feeling his fingers quiver lightly, Billy stopped halfway to the room, turning to glare at Jesse. “Are you ok?” he was worried. Not sure that Jesse really wanted this. He nodded however, swallowing before speaking, “Yeah, it’s just… I’ve never done this before… you know… with another man” Jesse admitted, somewhat embarrassed.

Sliding his knuckles over Jesse’s flushed cheek, Billy smiled, not at all surprised by the sudden statement from Jesse. Nuzzling his hand, Jesse cautiously pressed his lips against the palm of his hand, trailing his tongue up to each of the digits, drawing a soft moan from Billy.

“I want this Billy, but I’m just a bit nervous…” Jesse lowered his head, still embarrassed. Placing a finger under the younger man’s chin, Billy lifted his head until his eyes were locked directly into his. So bright. So beautiful.

“Can I tell you a secret?” the tone of Billy’s voice caught Jesse’s attention and made him curious. He smiled shyly, barely nodding.

“I’ve never done this before either,” this caught Jesse off guard, the expression on his face slightly puzzled. Billy couldn’t help but grin at this. “You mean you’ve… never?” Billy shook his head gently before leaning in to steal a quick kiss from Jesse.

Jesse pulled back confused, “But I thought… you and Chuck?” Billy stared at Jesse for a brief moment then smiled, “Chuck? No, nothing ever happened” Jesse felt relieved, realizing that he hadn’t offended the older man. “He was busy with Rico…” Billy grinned like a maniac when he saw Jesse’s eyes widen in shock.

“I never wanted anyone but you Jess… Will you let me love you?” The words affected Jesse like an actual caress, sending a fresh wave of tremors along his spine. “Please Billy… Love me…” The permission was all he needed before he took Jesse’s hand in his, leading him into the bedroom.

The younger man eagerly followed, his hands quivering lightly. Jesse had a feeling that Billy was just as nervous as him only that he managed to hide it better.

Jesse sat down on the bed, the mattress shifting beneath his weight. He smiled invitingly, silently begging for Billy to come to him. And so he did. He kissed him passionately, his tongue exploring the younger man’s mouth as his hands traveled down the mountains and valleys of his ribs.

Feeling warm fingers crawl up under his shirt, Jesse moaned softly, allowing Billy to pull off his t-shirt, exposing his pale torso. He gazed at Billy, eyes filled with lust as Billy removed his own shirt in one swift movement.

Laying down on his back, Jesse looked at Billy, waiting for him to make the next move. Billy took the hint, bending to place little kisses along a curve of his neck before moving further down to his collarbones and chest.

Arching his body, Jesse was unable to suppress a gasp when he felt Billy taking one of his nipples into his mouth. The sensitive pink flesh hardened instantly under the loving flicks of his tongue.

Appreciating the reaction of the younger man beneath him, Billy took his nipple between his teeth, lightly tugging before withdrawing. A protesting whimper slipped from Jesse’s parted lips due to the lack of contact.

An almost inaudible moan escaped Jesse’s lips when Billy began toying with the button in his jeans. When the confines loosened he lifted his hips slightly, allowing Billy to remove the jeans, leaving him lying on the bed only wearing plain black boxers.

Climbing onto the bed, Billy settled between Jesse’s spread legs, kissing him once more. He felt Jesse’s erection against his own and he moaned, feeling fingers tugging at the waistline of his pants. He shifted until the pants was sliding over his hips and down his thighs.

Their hips grinded together as Billy shifted again, causing Jesse’s body to jerk. Billy then rose briefly to take off his underwear, exposing himself for Jesse, smiling when he saw the younger man’s lustful gaze.

Billy bent again, feeling the need to taste his lover’s pale skin. Looking so tempting. Exquisite. Connecting his lips with the hot flesh on his chest, first kissing the soft skin then licking little paths down his abdomen, swirling his tongue around his navel repeatedly until Jesse was squirming in impatience, whimpering and pleading for Billy to move further down.

Feeling the boxers ease off his hipbones, Jesse instinctively thrust his hips towards Billy. Seconds later the boxers were lying on top of the rest of his clothes, creating a heap on the floor.

Unable to control his own desire to taste Jesse, Billy descended, lightly kissing the tip of his throbbing manhood. Even the light touch on his hardened flesh was enough to make him cry out, reaching to caress Billy’s temple with his thumb.

Purring softly, Billy flicked his tongue out to taste more of his delicate skin, collecting an alluring drop of pre-cum as he did so. The younger man arched under his prying licks and he was unable to stifle a cry when Billy finally took all of him into his mouth, sucking lightly.

He thrust his hips towards Billy, his breath coming quicker. Billy swirled his tongue around the head of his erection before dragging his teeth up the length. He then released him, drawing a soft whimper from Jesse.

His eyes locked at Billy’s, his breath coming in quick pants. Billy smiled gently, his fingers trailing over Jesse’s lower abdomen before closing around his erection, lightly stroking the hard flesh. “You taste so good, Jess… So sweet…”

Jesse couldn’t keep from smiling, blushing lightly, somewhat flattered. A breathy moan slipped from him when Billy’s fingers began moving a bit faster.

“Please Billy… I need you…” he whimpered, thrusting his hips, begging for more. Billy rose from the bed, heading towards the bathroom. “Where are you going?” Jesse looked at him, confused. “Just wait here, ok…?” was the only reply he got.

Jesse inhaled deeply, closing his eyes, patiently waiting for Billy to return. Seconds later Billy returned, holding a little tube in his hand. Jesse felt himself growing slightly impatient. He laid himself back down on the bed and waited expectantly for Billy.

Billy’s eyes were locked upon Jesse’s as he slowly leaned closer, kneeling on the bed. He bent to place a soft kiss just below Jesse’s navel before opening the tube of lubricant. With shaking fingers he squeezed out some of the gel onto his hand and began coating his fingers.

Jesse slowly closed his eyes, taking long deep breaths as he prepared himself for the pain he was about to experience. He tensed involuntarily when he felt a single finger enter him. He gasped when another finger pushed into him.

Billy then stopped, afraid he had hurt Jesse. “You ok?” he asked, voice coated with concern. Jesse nodded frantically, “Yeah… please keep going…” he moaned breathily.

Smiling faintly, Billy continued stretching Jesse out, still being careful not to hurt him.

Jesse arched his back and as he did so Billy’s fingertip brushed over the spongy surface of his prostate causing him to shudder as he moaned loudly. “Holy shit! Oh God, that feels so good! Please…” he gasped, his body jerking hard when Billy rubbed his prostate again, “I – I want you, Billy… Oh fuck! I need you… please…!”

Billy felt his body trembling at the words from the man beneath him. He could no longer control his own desire. Withdrawing his fingers, Jesse moaned softly. Billy reached for the tube once again, but his wrist was caught by Jesse’s hand. “You don’t need that one…” he whispered.

“Jess… baby, I don’t wanna hurt you…” he softly said, watching as Jesse pushed himself up. He claimed Billy’s lips in an almost harsh kiss, his lips nearly bruising due to the intensity of the kiss. “Let me… There’s something I want to try…”

Jesse glanced down at Billy, his eyes resting on his hard cock. He then bent, trailing the wet tip of his tongue over the tattoo around Billy’s navel. He whimpered softly. A loud groan emitted from his throat when Jesse unexpectedly swirled his tongue over the head of his erection.

He greedily took more of him into his enveloping warmth, lubricating him this way. Billy’s hips thrust steadily into Jesse’s mouth, feeling fingers playing with the flesh on his hipbones. After only a few seconds of sucking Jesse restrained himself and returned to his position on the bed, a mischievous sparkle adorning his eyes.

Billy crawled to Jesse until he was resting comfortably between his thighs. He kissed his soft lips before slowly and carefully thrusting forward. Jesse tensed when he felt pressure at his entrance, trying his best to relax, a low whimper slipping from his parted lips as Billy slowly entered him.

Billy paused, allowing Jesse to adjust. “Tell me if I’m hurting you, ok?” he soothed him, fingers stroking his warm cheek. Jesse suddenly shifted, his movement pulling Billy deeper. Both men moaned. Jesse’s eyes closed, the slight pain slowly turning into pleasure. He groaned when Billy finally began moving in him.

“Shit, Billy… you feel so good in me… so big… oh yes!” Billy shuddered against him, watching how the younger man’s cheeks would faintly blush. “Jess, you’re so tight!” He carefully leaned closer, placing a gentle kiss to the younger man’s lips before thrusting forward again.

Moaning softly, Billy trailed his lips along Jesse’s jaw and down his neck, kissing his collarbone, thrusting harder at the same time. Jesse moaned harshly, tensing, holding Billy tightly as he struggled not to come. The pleasure was on the verge of being intense. Millions of spark coursing through his veins with every passing second.

He had never experienced something like this before. Nothing as amazing as this! Everything felt so good. Billy seemed to know exactly what he wanted. What made him moan.

Billy was trying to control his pace, knowing that he wouldn’t last long. It felt too good!

Billy changed his angle slightly, thrusting again causing Jesse’s body to twitch hard against his own, a low pleading whimper being pulled from him. Fingers danced upon his heated flesh, warm bursts of breath caressing his neck. It was too much for Jesse. He could barely breathe…

“Oh… B - Billy, I… oh shit! I’m gonna come…” he moaned, little gasps punctuating the sentence, feeling Billy speed up his tempo. Sparkling eyes were gazing at him. Watching him intently. Their eyes locked upon one another.

Jesse tried to keep his eyes open for as long as possible, but soon his eyes closed, the pleasure becoming intense and he cried out as he reached his climax, spilling his seeds on both men’s abdomens. Feeling Jesse’s muscles clench around him, Billy could no longer control himself. He gave one final thrust, hard and fast before coming harder than he had ever done, filling the younger man.

“I love you…” Billy gasped, still looking at Jesse.

After a few seconds Jesse finally opened his eyes, staring directly at Billy and then smiled. Shakily, Billy pulled out of Jesse and then rolled onto his side, wrapping his arms around Jesse’s lightly shivering body. “Let me hold you tonight, Jess. I don’t want this to end…”

“I’ll let you hold me any night, Billy. I love you.”

#######

The End

#######